Don’t Get Too Comfortable –

Good Is Not Good Enough!!

Abbie loved coming to the Brunswick day centre, and we loved having her. She had great mates and enjoyed every day. Her parents, who wanted to retire to Phillip Island, hesitated to go because they didn’t want to disrupt her happiness. Like many parents, they worried about losing something that worked.

Well…They didn’t need to worry.

Abbie and her parents  live in Phillip Island now. She no longer attends a day centre full time, she plays tennis, goes bowling, takes cooking classes, volunteers at the Bush Bank and Koala Park, goes fishing, surfs and attends a day service one day a week. More importantly, she is  part of her  community—everyone knows her, and now because Abbie is known by so many more people than her parents, that’s what should happen with young people, her parents are recognised as Abbie’s mum and dad! (Instead of ….whatever their names are).

Best of all, she has formed many more friendships, including a fantastic (and very handsome, I have seen the photos) boyfriend, Luke. Her life isn’t just about activities—it’s about connection. Abbie’s can’t walk around her local area without someone saying hello and stopping for a chat.

Now, we all know that those things are just words unless they contribute to making Abbie’s life better… well they do. Many people who have known Abbie are surprised when they meet her now. Now she has added so much more.   She knows so many more people, who she likes and who like her back, Abbie is more confident, her range of conversations is much broader, she is happy to try new things, she is in more control of her own life, she makes many more decisions herself about what she wants to do, and she is happier, and so are the people who love her.

Is there some messages to take out of Abbie’s story, Bloody Oath There Is!!!

1.       Good isn’t good enough. Abbie was happy before, what she had was good and her parents were very scared of her losing good things that were in her life. It’s incredibly scary to risk what works because it has often taken so much work and effort to get it in the first place. Don’t let that discourage you from talking to people, expecting more and asking people to help you to think about what can be better. That’s what Abbie’s family did. They didn’t do it alone, they got help!

2.       Being with the right people and in the right places can make all the difference. We learn from Abbie that a good question to ask is, is my child in the right place, with the right people who can help them to get the best and most beautiful life possible.

3.       Money doesn’t think—people do. Abbie’s new life, which brings her and her family so much joy and happiness, actually costs less than her old full time support services. You need the thinking, more than you need the money, to get a life like this.

Abbie’s isn’t Robinson Crusoe (he lived on an island all alone), we love her story, the exciting changes in her life, the new people and relationships, because we love Abbie. How did Abbie and her family make this work. They talked to the right people, they asked questions about want could be better, they  listened to Abbie and encouraged her to try new things, they didn’t think about money first, they worried a lot until things got clearer and they could see how things would work. They tried things that didn’t work, and were sure to be around to help each other when they didn’t. Abbie isn’t luckier than other people, she wasn’t surround by people with extra time, energy and unending confidence.  Her parents while loving and relentless in their search for a good life for Abbie, they are not smarter, less tired or less afraid of change, they are also not more energetic than a lot of other people. They just wanted Abbie to have the best life. People don’t need to make the big changes like Abbie has, you can keep what you already have and try out new bits.